he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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