p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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