Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This toilet bowl is my home.
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