This is not my ceiling
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
