Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
