She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
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