Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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