Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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