with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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