hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
