are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
