I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
