did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
