I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
