Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
