why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
