I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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