Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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