can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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