FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
