the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
