I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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