so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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