My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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