also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
