Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize