You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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