And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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