I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
