Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
