the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
