I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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