he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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