Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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