i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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