Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
