Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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