thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
