party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize