we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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