Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Randomize