Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
