Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
