If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
