I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
