I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
