Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
