did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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