i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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