i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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