Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
