"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ladies don't puke and tell
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
