I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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