I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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