what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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