just tell him i said nine months
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Please don't give away my fajitas
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
