i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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