I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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