? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
