I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
