I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize