There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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