I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I need to stop coming to work sober
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
