is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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