so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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