I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
