she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The beers last night were like the tears from god
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
