There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
