who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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