In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
