I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
