ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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